On the outset… let me start with a disclaimer-
“This article is not directed to any particular person. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.”
However, this article is not a work of fiction. Rather its my dedication to that confused, modern woman who seems to have lost herself in an effort to keep up with the so called notion of “an ideal women”.
Somehow I believe life was a lot easier for women belonging to the previous generations. They seemed more comfortable in their own skin, satisfied with who they were. I do not remember my Grandma constantly trying to portray herself as a “know-it-all”, as an epitome of grace, beauty and success or as a flag bearer of feminism. She was feminist in her own subtle way, graceful and beautiful without overstating it and a strong backbone for the future generations in an offhand, easy manner without going over the top with any of her responsibilities.
But with time, women appear to be losing the fine balance. It’s almost like we are in a constant race to fit into a mould that has been created for us…a much larger than life mould ! We take offence at every criticism and try to add colours of feminism to it. We scream for rights to make our own choices and then we ourselves put other women down for their choices. In our fight for feminism, we have forgotten the true meaning of the word. Why try to prove we are superior to men or, for that matter, other women? Lets just all try to be humans first !!!
So my lovelies, do not, at any cost, let others dictate your life choices. Its your life and you have the right to live it the way you want to. Unfortunately, for a modern woman, even before a man, comes the threat of being judged by another woman. So what if she decided to get married early in her life…..if her dream is to become a mum rather than a successful CEO….if she doesn’t want to get married or have kids…. if she decided to quit her job at the peak of her career…..if she rides a bike or is too scared to drive….if she doesn’t like to read at all or reads too much….if she has put on a bit of weight but is beautiful none-the less or if she wears salwars, cooks well and is religious but not a “behenji”….. Let’s just understand that at the end of the day all that matters is being happy.
I see women around me struggling with the two masks : who they really are and who they want to portray themselves as! It is okay when you go weak in your knees for a man and it is okay if you decide to accept a gift or let your man pay when you are on a date for a change! Everyone knows you can open your own car door or walk without taking someone’s arm, but it is okay to sometimes enjoy the chivalry of a man. He is not trying to put you beneath him but this is just his way of showing how much he values you!
So in an effort to fit into the mould, don’t lose sight of the finer things in life, genuine emotions and important people. While I myself believe that every woman should be independent, I must learn to respect the choices of a woman whose ideas and priorities differ from mine! A strong feminist as I am, it saddens me when I see women with contorted notions about feminism, viewing the world with glasses tinted with their misguided ideologies. Being strong, beautiful and independent doesn’t mean putting others down but being able to look at the world without being judgmental or blinded by misconceptions. A true feminist understands that every women has the right to make her own choices and live life on her own terms.
So to all my lovely ladies, take a chill pill. Sit back and relax a bit. Take a break, enjoy life and widen your vision. You just have one life and you are allowed to live it the way you want to. Let us put an end to judging others and strangulating their free will in the name of progressiveness and modernization. Let us learn to respect each other as equals first and for once, just leave it at that !!!